Author Archives: thinkinghertz

Primordial urges, lead the way. Perpetual boredom, the clock ticks away. Captivate the mind, if only for a day. Enchant the heart, forever it shall stay. JCH

My Love is selfish. I want you, and only you, to be the tenant of my heart.Though a dark place it may be, you can have the key to unlock all the doors and windows, bringing a new light to the darkness–a loving light. After all, I’ve never met someone who understands me so well,Continue reading “Selfish Love”

I stood outside her door eager to find out what was in store for me. The next thing I remember is drinking wine out of large coffee mugs with you; then you carefully select a record, place it on the turntable, put the needle on the record, and melancholy sounds start reverberating around the room. WeContinue reading “Moving On”

I’ve always underestimated my abilities. Maybe it’s because I never thought I was good enough. I never thought I was smart or attractive, I wasn’t cool or nerdy, I wasn’t wealthy, I didn’t have a dad–I was an outcast. Even within my family I felt like I was out of place; my mom and sisterContinue reading “Underestimate My Existence”

How can such a simple item like a toothbrush so powerfully remind you of everything we used to be? I remember when I first gave it to you, it was such a stupid gesture, but you were so excited about it. Looking back, it was subtly acting as a symbol of you moving into myContinue reading “Symbol of You”

There are some days the pain hurts so bad, you can’t contain it– It pours out like a leaky faucet ready to burst from the pressure. But unlike a faucet, a heart that burst and breaks cannot be replaced, it has to be mended, Put back together– You will try to put it back togetherContinue reading “Pain Hurts”

The mere thought of you still manages to give me butterflies. You lit a fire in me and now, I find myself dwelling, “what’s wrong with me? What could I possibly be doing so wrong?” Even still, I can’t help but wonder “Why can’t I let you go?” Every time I’m ready to let you go,Continue reading “Holding on to the Idea of You”

Stuck in Limbo, meeting the ghosts of my horrifying past. Clinging on like parasites, diminishing the essence of my being, Until I am reduced to nothingness– Forever forgotten and detached of all feeling, I fear my light may be fading, With little chance at reconciling my mistakes, my demons. I thought I could triumph over theContinue reading “Disconcerting Days”

Inhale temporary relief, Exhale problematic grief, Infecting pleasure In an unknown void– Revealing Lackluster love. JCH

I always knew I was destined to suffer through an unfathomable amount of struggle and pain. Despite my knowing this, I remain afraid of hurting, feeling, failing–why can’t I overcome this monumental predicament? If I cannot, I fear I will never be able to truly experience life and live up to my potential. Perhaps thisContinue reading “Despairing Destiny”