Organ Grinder Monkey Wake

up in the early morning
dancing away to the dead
tune of his organ grinder–

it’s the type of sound that
plays in the background of your
nightmares and wakes you with fright
in the middle of the night
wondering where it went wrong.

attached at the hip, thinking
how to give this guy the slip,
but there’s only one way out…
so the monkey has to choose:
suffer forever, or die.

trapped by false ideals of love,
the monkey stays with master.
never having known freedom,
it’s an easy decision to make,
if you can live with that choice.

the monkey is still chained
to junkyard heart, dancing to
that same wretched grinding tune

Rest in Peace Organ Monkey

Cold Water Surfer

Walking along the beach,
a lone surfer prepares for
his battle with the Atlantic ocean.
Waves, thick and heavy from
bitter cold and climate change.

A rush of momentary fear and oxygen
courses densely through his veins as he
paddles out to the 9 foot walls swelling
with tremendous energy and power and
crashing overhead, the surfer searches for
solace in the silence beneath the wave.

Blasts of slushy water numb his face,
rejoicing at the crispness of outside air
reminding him how it feels to be alive
in the moment, patiently positioning himself
to catch that one, perfect wave.

His body numb from freezing salt water
seeping into his wetsuit sends shivers
forcing every ounce of energy to the forefront
as the zenith of his performance comes with
thick, frothy wave charging behind him.

He drops in to the face of the mountain of water
chasing him through the thumping tube,
pumping through the barrel, gaining speed for his exit,
he shoots through the gap and coasts to shore.

Never looking back, always forward with smile wide,
heart full, body drained and temporary enlightenment, he ponders
“it was another successful surf session,”
as he drives off toward the
setting summer sun.

Wonder

If wonder is the key to finding ourselves,
Than loss of wonder is the key to conformity.

If we resign to someone else’s idea of wonder,
Do we resign our humanity in the process?

Are we so lost in searching for answers,
That we forget to wonder for ourselves?

We often overlook the beauty of wonder,
When tormented by the lack of answers.

But isn’t wonder, in essence, freedom?
An escape that once existed in childhood…

Wonder is eternal, and we will never be stripped
of the thoughts and feelings living inside of us.

Wonder will always take us where we need to go next–
Back to the heart of it all, when it began and ended.

So we find ourselves where land meets water,
The crossroads of a journey into the unknown.

 

random encounters

walking down the street airily,
up comes a man so hairily
telling me how unsofairily
the world has been to him.

you see my dear friend,
our lives we must mend
for we never know our end
thus we pretend we live forever.

death left its mark,
a hardy spark,
deep inside our heart
vulnerable til the end.

a stillness occupies the brain,
an illness with all there is to gain
that causes unfathomable pain–
mental illness, will I ever be the same?

What I elected is fresh perspective:
the world is not so defective,
it just needs a new directive!
one that is protective,
completely unselective,
and infective with love.

Driving Across the Country

The oscillation of my emotions
is far more than I bargained for.

But the beauty of it all
cannot be captured by
words, pictures, paintings.

It can only be felt,
deep in your bones,
the bottom of your heart,
the innards of your brain.

It touches your soul so purely,
you can do nothing but ride the wave,
feel as children feel…

and fall in love all over again–

California Spirit

Winding Redwood forest roads,
In colorful California, carving through the
Steep, potentially collapsable mountainside.

A perfect balance of hot and cold,
Mountains and coastline,
Wilderness and civilization.

Coming to this place feels like
Everything is teetering on the edge of life and
Death, but that’s the excitement we crave!

California is the sun’s playground;
It is where the world’s eternal children come to
play for the rest of their lives.

And much like this life,
We’ve got to have as much fun as possible
Before it all disappears into nothingness.

So play on flower-children, sun enthusiasts, water worshipers, Mountaineers, gold diggers, fantasy dwellers, reality repellers;
Each and every one of you–

Play on ’til death do us part!

Waking Up

I keep telling myself that I’ll be fine,
but something is amiss,
is it religious bliss?

Maybe I need a Miss
so I can get kissed,
or remind me that I’m missed.

Trapped in a bed that’s not even mine
I’ve been put down too many times,
Lived too many lives, lost too many loves,
but I’ll be fine.

I tell myself that I love myself–
Is it really true?
Will I ever be myself without you?

I’m dying to find the answer–
sometimes it feels like cancer
swelling in my throat
hearing nothing except a croak.
I’ll be fine.

Superego instills doubt in my mind
Am I really fine?
I’ll just keep to myself–

Keep wearing my “plastic” smile
struggling to share my feelings with
the ones who care about me.

I’m know I’m not fine,
but I will be only when the closed chambers
of my heart open once again.